Have you ever...

Have you ever had a day when you felt GREAT about the way you looked? Your hair was perfect, outfit flawless, makeup done up to perfection. You feel better about yourself. You walk a little taller. You are proud to be you.

I had one of those days last week. I felt, in a word, sexy. Wore my new V-neck top, which is a bit lower than the ones I usually wear. Put my contacts in, donned some makeup, did my hair and set off into the world.

I got a couple of "hey there" looks while I patrolled the isles of the grocery story, carrying my ecofriendly reusable bags. Ooohh, I am eye candy! So, yeah, I flaunted it up a bit. Walked like I was Queen Jen. Got a little junk in my trunk, so why not use it.

Before I go on, I must say one other thing. In the boob department, I am well endowed. (not bragging, I've got the back pain to prove it) So well in fact that I have had to go to specialty stores to find an apparatus capable of taming these ladies. This is important in a few seconds.... keep reading, it gets good.

After I pay for my groceries, I head over to the liquor department to get a nice bottle of Merlot to go with dinner. More "hey there" looks. Man, I must have done it up right. I look good. When I got to the checkout, the woman had a funny look on her face (maybe she had gas?) took my money and sent me on my way.

I then headed over to the bank to get some money. I usually go through the teller lane closest to the building. That day, the line was too long. I don't like using the "money tube" lane (that's what I call it, don't know what its really called). So impersonal. I made my transaction and was leaning over to get my money. I have an SUV and have to kind of lean up and over the car window. I get my money, look up, and see a very frighteningly scary looking man staring at me. More like leering. It really creeped my out. What was going on.

That's when I finally looked down..... My cute new little V-neck shirt had shifted position exposing the right lady to parts of daylight she's never seen in public. Oh shit, have I been walking around exposing the world to my ginormous tatas? That would explain the looks I got. Oh well, I hope I made someones day.

Today, I am wearing that same shirt. Headed out to the video store and picked up The Bank Job to watch tonight. Before walking into the store, made sure I wasn't exposing things I shouldn't in public. All was fine and good. Got home, headed to go to the bathroom. Oh shit, my zippers down.....