Californication... Adult Content Read At Own Risk...

First off let me tell you I am a HUGE David Duchovny fan.  I first fell in love with him when he played the cross dressing FBI agent Denise in Twin Peaks.  One of my all time favorite shows.  From day 1 I had to know who killed Laura Palmer and why.  Fucked up series though.  On the season 2 DVD set there is a funny story he tells about having to shave his legs for the part, then went to swim some laps and got some funny looks.  Hey, male swimmers shave their legs, I know, I've helped them!

Then it was Fox Mulder with the FBI (again) in X-Files.  Back when we were first dating, my husband and I would snuggle up on the couch in his apartment and watch each week.  Great show as well.  One of my favorite episodes was the one where they did the COPS parody.  Good stuff.

Now Californication.  I must start by saying we don't have Showtime or any other movie network for that matter so I had no idea what this Californication was until I saw a commercial that said 'Season 1 now available'.  I figured that if David Duchovny is in it so it has to be great.  He plays a writer who hasn't written anything descent since moving from New York.  So last night we watched the first 3 episodes and I know where the 'fornication' in Californication comes from.  

For example last night I saw:

• more boobs in a thirty minute show should ever have (no way were all of them real)
• a half naked Duchovny grab a painting off a wall and throw up on it when caught about to have sex, on his ex-girlfriends bed
• Duchovny get punched in the face while having sex to keep from climaxing (which we later discover she is 16 and the daughter of the man his ex is about to marry)
• more sex than a thirty minute show should ever have
• An explanation of the 'little man in the boat' to an inept husband
• Him pick up his daughter without his pants because he couldn't find them when said inept husband came home early and almost caught him having sex with his wife.

Three phrases of note from the show:

• "Where did you get the black eye" (from the 16 year old who gave it to him, and in front of her dad)
• "Like that time you finger banged your cat"  (I actually spit out my drink when I heard that one!)
• "You smell like pussy" ex girlfriend, response: "Thank you"

All that being said, I love the show.  I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.  Oh, yeah and he is a blogger for a magazine called Hell LA (I think).  I am anxiously waiting to watch more.  Can't wait until tonight!!!!

Thank you mom

I must give a big thank you to my mom for all of the creative things she had me do as a kid. She taught me how to do cross stitch and crochet. And always encouraged me to try something new. Since I have dabbled in many different arts and craft endeavors which has given me some financial compensation for my work. Here I have included some of the things I have created for her.

These I made for her for Christmas to match her bedding. I like to quilt, just in smaller doses. Wall hangings are more my style.

This is one of the necklaces I made for her. I think I like dragon flies more than she does, but that's o.k. She still likes it.

Growing us we had two beagles, both epileptic. Snuffles scared me when we brought her home, I had never had an animal before and didn't understand her need for attention. Pepper was the second beagle. She was quite a 'free spirt' for a dog. Very stubborn! I made this for mom as a mother's day present. When she died, I even made her a headstone for her grave site in the woods. I miss her, but she was a different dog in the end. Medicine really messed her up.

Other artsy farts things I have dabbled in: Soap making, candle making, knitting, perfume, dream catchers, beading, quilting, painting, macrame, cooking, etc. So, thank you mom for putting the creative bug in my ear from the get go.

Phriday Photo Phiesta

Its that time of week my friends.  Candid Carries Phriday Photo Phiesta.  I thought this was a good one entry for this week.  I went shopping at the local Target and PetCo this past weekend.  I put most of the things away, but left this on the counter.  

My husband says there's a joke here, but he's not going to make it and piss me off.  Like I would get pissed off at him.  Yeah, I probably would.  Since he won't play, I will let you come up with one for me!  I don't offend easily, I can take it!

Power Yoga... or How To Pay To Get Your Ass Kicked!

Tuesday night I decided to go to a Power Yoga class with my husband. I used to go to these all the time and thought to myself I can do it. No problem, right?

We start every class with two versions of sun salutations, Surya Namaskara A&B. The first is a nice warm up. Gets your energy level up, prepares you for what is coming up next. Version B starts with my all time favorite (yeah right!) Chair pose. Its like your sitting comfortably in a chair without the chair behind you. Its not too bad. Come up, bend down, jump back, lower down, up dog, down dog and here it comes Warrior I. Now I heard Mark has you hold them for a long time. They weren't kidding. Acts of congress have taken less time than we held the pose. Just when I think it is over, I get to release and relax I hear, "Hands together to your heart, turn it into Warrior II" seen here:

This was also held ridiculously long! You usually hold them for five breaths. Five, not twenty-five (I exaggerate, I know but that's what it felt like). I am trying to breathe my way through it. Don't start rushing the breath, release back to Warrior I and plank out, lower down, up dog, down dog, OTHER SIDE. I totally forgot about the other side, I was too busy worrying about the last side!!! We did three of these. In one, we even went into Warrior III or what I like to say 'Superman Pose'. By the time we were done with the Sun Salutations, my left leg was quivering to the point of being barely standable (is that a word?) We didn't do any more standing poses (thank god) they were all worked into the salutations.

We get to go to the floor. Forward bends (which felt great by this time), crow, side crow, wheel, twists, etc all with a Vinyasa in between each side and then each pose. What is a Vinyasa you ask? It is a way to reset your body and start fresh on each side. It is composed of: jump back, lower down, up dog, down dog, (sound familiar?) then jump through to seated. I was afraid of Mark and didn't want to skip a Vinyasa for fear of being humiliated, called a wuss, laughed at, etc. Did every single one. I am paying for it still!

Ending class: Shoulder stand, Plow and then Scorpion! Seriously, Scorpion.

I guess because the entire class was drenched in sweat out muscles and joints were well lubricated to have a go at it. I tried it. I tried it several times. I think I did pretty well for the first time every doing it. My hubby said I looked like a tree shaking in a storm. SORRY, it was my first time!

We went out for a beer after class, which was relaxing. Got home, watched some tube, went to bed. Woke up. Tried to get out of bed. TRIED. My muscles were so tight and sore I could barely move. I can feel my abdominal muscles like I have never felt them before. In excruciating pain. Hamstrings tight, upper arms radiating with soreness. I felt like I had been in a car accident . Spent the day lazing around. Today, still in pain. Abs hurt, hammies tight, don't get me started on walking up the stairs! All that said, I am going back to class on Sunday. Wish me luck!

Creative Juices A Flowin' Again

A few weeks ago I found a post on A Crafter's Journal on making your own  Custom Cute Magnets.  Being a crafty person myself, I decided I needed to try this out as well.  I am always looking for something new to try and this was something right up my ally.  

Materials:

Strong Glue:  I started off using E6000.  However the glue and I didn't work out so well together.  I switched over to Aleene's Platinum Bond Glass and Bead Glue.  Worked much better for me.  The nozzle is smaller and the glue easier to control.  Most craft stores have an entire section for glue, just make sure to pick one you think will work for you.  Also, no matter what glue you choose make sure it dries clear and if it says use in a well ventilated area do it.  I didn't and ended up with a wicked headache!

1/2 inch magnets:  If you use ceramic ones, you may need to glue a piece of paper to the other side or it can leave marks on your surface.

1/2 inch hole punch:  You can use scissors instead, but it is worth it to purchase a hole punch.

Old Magazines/ Catalogs:  I had an old Crazy Shirts catalog hanging around and it worked perfectly.  Small designs which were the perfect size.  Finding good pictures in magazines was a difficult for me, so the catalogs worked so well.  (you can order a Crazy Shirts catalog online)  I did just get a catalog for Allposters.com which looks like it would have some great ones in it.

*** Don't use Scrapbook paper.  The glue will ruin the image***

Small Flat Backed Round Glass Beads:  I found mine in the mosaic section at the craft store.  Make sure they have a clear finish.  The kind with the mirror finish looks like they could be used, but the picture won't show through.

***Optional*** Metal Pie Pan: This was very helpful for me.  I turned the pan upside down, and used it to align the magnets and hold everything in place.   

Directions:

1.  Flip through magazines or catalog to find the pictures you want to use.  (I placed a glass bead on top to make sure the image fit and looked o.k.)  If you choose dark pictures, make sure there is a good contrasting color or your image won't show.

2. Hole punch or cut out picture.

3. Put a small dot of glue on the magnet, place picture in place.  (make sure to follow your glue's directions.  Some have you wait 2 minutes)

4. Place a dot of glue on the glass bead and press on top of magnet with picture.  Squeeze together to seal.  (Try to get the glue bubbles out.)

5.  Let glue dry per instructions.

6. Decorate your fridge.

7. Enjoy your hard work.

If you make any, please send me a post.  I would love to see what you've created.  Have fun!

Summer Treats

Its that time of the year again. My favorite time of year, summer. It takes me back to my childhood of going to the pool, playing softball, wandering in the woods with my brother and the best part Fourth of July. Every year my parents hosted a huge party at the house. My mom always made tons of food as well as adult beverages that from time to time I would sneak. (I think she knew though) Always delicious and simple. I thought I would share her classic with you as well as an upgrade. You may want to keep The Classic out of the kids hands. It can be potent.Lime Slush (The Classic)
1 can Limeade (It helps if it is thawed, but not necessary)
1 can Lime Vodka
Ice
Sprite or 7-Up
Fill blender 1/2 full with ice. Pour in Limeade and Vodka and blend until smooth. Place 3-4 spoon fulls in a glass, top off with Sprite or 7-Up. Store in an airtight container in freezer. Keeps for weeks. You can modify how much slush you want, each person has their preference.


Strawberry Margarita Sorbet (The Upgrade)
1/3 C. Tequila
1/4 C. Triple Sec
1 C. Sugar
2 C. Water
32 oz. Frozen Strawberries

Put water and sugar into a pot and bring to a boil stirring until sugar is dissolved. Set aside to cool. (Can be done a day ahead, which I recommend)

Thaw Strawberries in microwave, puree juice and all in blender until smooth.

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Place in a 9x13 pan and place in the freezer. Stir every 45 minutes until frozen. (I use a whisk, make sure to get the sides.) Store in an airtight container in the freezer. Keeps for weeks.

The picture is actually of a red raspberry margarita sorbet.  You can use other fruits if you have a personal favorite, give it a try and see if it works. This batch was made back in March and it is still good today.  I think I might have some tonight for dessert. YUM!

Creative Juices A Flowin'

Being off for the summer, I needed to start creating something artsy or I might go crazy.  Today I finished two necklaces and a mala.  I folded them in half to get a better image of the detail involved.  This first necklace is a combination of Smokey Quartz and Crystal Quartz.  The chips ranged from 3mm - 6 mm in size.  Hard to work with with fingernails, but I managed.  I think it turned out beautifully.  

This one is a Ametrine and Labradorite.  I have had the Ametrine for quite some time.  I have made and later destroyed about six necklaces because I was never satisfied with the finished product.  I really like the contrast between the yellowish tints and purple luster of the Labradorite.  I think this one is a keeper.  (or sell, haven't decided yet)  There is a matching bracelet as well.
Here we have a recreation of one of my grandmothers pearl necklaces from (I think) the 1920's.  Need to have it appraised to find out for sure.  It is made with crystal pearls.  I plan to make one for all of the female grandchildren/great grandchildren as a tribute to grandma for Christmas.  
Here we have my mala.  This one is mine all mine.  Made of Golden Jade, with Amber counters, Citrine center piece and Citrine and Florite accents. This picture doesn't do it justice.  Malas are Tibetan prayer beads used in meditation.  I use it at least once a day to ground and center myself.   
This is a half mala, with 54 beads.  It is made from Fancy Jasper with Quartz counters and center.  It was supposed to be a full size mala (108 beads) but I accidentally cut the cord too short.  This one will go for sale along with two others I have finished in the past few weeks.  A Yellow Turqouis and Amethyst full malas.

This upcoming week I plan on finishing some magnets, lanyards, knit some animals, make a few more necklaces and malas, who knows.  I am thinking about selling some jewlery/animals/magnets/arts crafty stuff online.  Not sure yet. It is a foreign concept to me and I don't know how they would sell.

Bad Hair Day

Looking in the mirror this morning I thought to myself, I am going to have a bad hair day.  Naturally curly, 80 degrees out, 78% humidity.  I just need to grab a hair tie and go on with my day.  I wish I owned  a hat other than my Gilligan's Island one!

Then I got to thinking.... I have had a much worse hair day.  The worst hair day of ANY ONE'S LIFE!  You think I exaggerate.... No, I think mine is  pretty bad.  Here's the scenario:

 

A week before I head off to Community College I decide to get a perm....

On top of my naturally curly hair....

On top of being dyed for almost all of 16 plays and musicals I was in during high school

On top of the chlorine buildup from a summer of lifeguarding and teaching 3 year olds how to swim.....

Needless to say I still thought it a good idea  I'm off to the local beauty shop.  I get my hair done up in curlers, solution gets put on.  To this day I can feel the cold perm solution going on my hair.  Timer is set.... It's time to sit and wait....

Within 5 minutes, my head is itchy and burning a bit.  I don't say anything for about 5 more minutes when I can't take it anymore.  The hairdresser convinces my to make it another 5 minutes and she could look at it then and see if the curlers can be taken out.  The 5 minutes are up......  Thank god!

She starts to take the curlers out......

I can feel it pull, but something isn't right.  My hair is stretching like a rubber band!  All the buildup of garbage in my hair has created some kind of chemical reaction nobody was prepared for.  My hair turned into seaweed.  You could actually stretch it pretty far before it broke.

The stylist audibly gasped and had a dumbfounded look on her face like what do I do now?  She rinses and rinses and rinses some more, but the damage is done.  There is no coming back from this one.  My hair is ruined.  Out come the scissors for the worst hair cut of my life on top of the worst perm ever.  Sides cut shorter than an inch.  The back, she leaves longer almost to my shoulder in SOME places.  The top is cut into many layers that don't match.  And off she sends me.  Into the world for all to see.  And no, she didn't charge me.

I rush home.  Try desperately to wash out the damage with Baby Shampoo.  No luck.  I call my mom at work, tears rolling down my face unsure of what to do.  I start school in under a week.  New people, first impressions with this hair.  I need a hat, a wig, something to cover up the damage.  The thought to shave my head even occurred to me at one point.  

Mom gets home, looks at me, and I start to cry all over again.  She gives me a hat and off we go to the JC Penny hair salon.  I got in right away and took off the hat to show the stylist what had happened.  The first thing out of her mouth was "She didn't charge you did she?"  I think it was meant to make me laugh.  It helped.  She was very nice and she took good care of me.  When I left, my hair was o.k.  She gave me some conditioner to use every other day and in two weeks I could go back and have more of the damage cut off.  

Fortunately, my hair grows pretty fast.  Within a month or so, I was able to go out in public without a hat on my head.  Also, thank GOD we could wear hats in college!!!

Side note.  I met my husband during that first semester of college.  He doesn't remember the hair.  (or so he says!)