Dealing with death

I had hoped that I would never have to discuss death with my students, but some things are outside of my control.

A seventh grade student passed away yesterday after a short battle with leukemia. I knew this was coming with her recent health updates, but I never imagined that I would be the one to have to tell my students.

I am overly emotional myself, so breaking the news was more than I have ever been prepared to do.

I was amazed at how well my students handled it. One had some great questions about cancer and different 'cures' for it.

I did the best I could with the information I had, but I feel I did an injustice to her memory.

She was a student I never had in class. I know very little about her. But, I am inspired by the stories about her I hear from her peers.

A case of the Mondays...

If this shit didn't actually happen to me, I wouldn't believe it. I had the worst hour and a half this morning when I got up.

So what happened? Lets start from the beginning.

I woke up around 5:00 this morning to go to the bathroom. A normal occurrence, but in my half sleep haze I accidentally turned off my alarm clock. Oops!

Over the next two hours I had the most bizarre and graphic nightmares I have had in quite a while. Fortunately, I randomly woke at 7:05, I leave for work at 7:35. Oops!

Once up, I went to the living room. I Did my hair and makeup (totally overdid my eyeliner so I looked like Robert Smith from the cure.) I got dressed, put my lunch together and was ready to head out the door.

As soon as I start down the stairs to the garage I drop EVERYTHING I had on me. How or why I still don't know. My purse, lunch bag, keys, water bottle (getting water all over the stairs) and some other random items all over the place.

I get the the bottom of the stairs and bend down. That's when it happened. My pants ripped. Not a little tear, but a two plus inch long one from the top of my thigh down towards my knee. So glad I was home for that!!!!!

So now, I had to run up the stairs and find another pair of pants that match the rest of my outfit so I can make it to work, hopefully on time!

I got our the door at 7:40. Not too bad, I made good time. Next problem, 40mph + winds on the interstate. Stressful drive to work clutching the wheel!

Other highlights of the day: sending three kids out for behavior, tripping up the stairs and having my Target card declined....

At least the day is over and it can't get any worse, right?

Where does the time go?

I just went back (after a year and a half) and re-read the last post I wrote. I have grown so much, but still have some of the same old issues.

I still have the stress from work, who doesn't. At this point of the year I am starting to feel the burn out that inevitably comes with teaching middle school. I try to stay positive in the face of classroom discipline and students who are constant issues.

I wish that I could spend my day teaching instead of all the extra duties I am required to do. Submit lesson plans, data team meetings, department meetings, staff meetings, duty 2 days a week, all this and more every week. Ugh!

On the positive side I have recently gotten back into Ashtanga yoga. As soon as I step onto my mat, my thoughts go straight to my practice and breath. It is the best 90 minutes I get three times a week. I have noticed that I still nap, but for less time So some things have gotten better.

Next post, more positivity!

Aaarrrgggg!

The last time I posted the school year was just beginning, and next week it will be over for just over 2 months.  So much time has gone by, yet I feel like I have gone nowhere.  The things I have endured are starting to take their tole and I find myself yearning for who I used to be.

I used to be happy.  I used to like getting up in the morning and preparing the daily lessons and working with kids.  I used to be able to come home and be able to function without a two hour daily nap.  I used to give a damn!

Now, my give a damn is broken and I have NO intention of getting it fixed (at least for the next two weeks!)

So, how did it break?  I have been asking myself that question a lot lately.
Is it the two meetings I have every week?
Is it all of the extra paperwork that I have had to do?
Is it the added stress from having been assaulted at work 6 weeks ago, or the fact that the charges were dropped?
Is it the number of fights I have personally broken up this year?
Is the the shattering of my morale by staff members?
Is it not knowing what I will be teaching next year?
Is it, hell fill in the blank_____________?

When asked today "why you always picking on me" from a student I wanted to rebut with "why are you such a fucking asshole that can't stop talking after being asked to stop more than a dozen times!"

I'd have a beer right now but I'd probably bust my teeth!

I have had quite an interesting 24 hours.  In no particular order:

Fell off of the couch while playing Wii golf not once, but twice!  (Alcohol WAS a factor)

Ripped half a toe nail off, OUCH!

While mowing got stung repeatedly in the calf by a ground bee/ yellow jacket, which then got stuck on my sock.  I ran across the yard, throwing my shoes and socks off and now I am pretty sure my neighbors think I am crazy!.

Twisted my ankle by slipping in the mud mowing up the back hill.

The Benadryl I took for the bee stings kicked in while I was grocery shopping.  I was asked several times if I needed help shopping.  I wonder how bad I really looked.....

Got soap in my eye while in the shower.

Gums swelled up when I flossed.

You get the gist!  So, as I said before I would really love to have an ice cold Blue Moon right now, but I am afraid I will somehow bust my teeth out with the bottle.  I know, I'll just pour it in a glass and enjoy.

At least I know tomorrow HAS to be better!

Family Vacations

Each and every year since I have been married the hubby and I go on a family vacation/reunion.

He is the youngest of 5 and our entire blended family comes to stay in one house. Brothers, sisters, mommers, nephews and wife.

If we weren't so close knit it would be sheer hell.

We spend the week playing Shanghai rummy, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Zombies, etc. Good thing we all like playing games!

Stress comes and then leaves as soon as it comes. No bickering, no arguing, just trying to figure out what to eat for dinner with a minimum of 4 vegetarians at any given time.

I got lucky to marry into a unique/ open family. I can't imagine what a family vacation would be with my side.....

Count your blessings while you can!

Seriously.....

I went out earlier today to get some spring cleaning supplies and storage containers. Since Dollar General is right down the hill I decided to go there. I picked up my supplies and headed out the door. I was carrying 3 storage boxes when the wind seriously picked up.

So, there I was walking to my car when the lid flew off the top storage box and WHAM hit me right in the face. Seriously, why me?!?

Apparently it was really funny for the other customers in the parking lot because they just looked at me and laughed. I'm just glad I didn't break my glasses.

I will never dye my own hair again!

So...... Three weeks ago on a Friday I decided I was tired of my hair color and ever growing roots and I needed some new color. I usually dye it a medium brown/red but this time thought "why not dark brown!?!"

I head off to the local Target and pick out an expresso brown, came home, and began the hair dying ritual.

Not really a ritual but a routine. I change into a pair of black yoga pants and black shirt just in case the dye drips. I mixed the color together and follow the directions on the package. Applied hair color and set the timer for 20 minutes, the time it says on the box.

12 minutes later the hubby walked by and asked if I was trying to dye my hair black. I said "um, no" and then looked in the mirror.

Now anyone who dyes their hair knows that it always looks darker before it is rinsed out, but this was alarmingly dark. I decided to not chance it and rinsed my hair.

My hair was BLACK. And by BLACK, I mean BLACK!!!!!

Oh shit!

Stop by later this week to see what happened next!

I need to get back to my roots!

I have been away for far too long. Cursed Facebook! I got in such a habit of updating things there that I forgot how much I enjoy blogging.

Enough said!

More accident prone antics from yours truely!

I have become a wii addict. I just can't stop playing. Being a physical sort a game system all kinds of things can go wrong when you are accident prone like me. For example:

• Fell off the wii board while playing Shaun White snowboarding game and twisted my ankle
• Got waaaay into mariocart and lost my balance and fell over
• tossed a wii mote while golfing. Fortunately it went back instead of through the TV!

Just to name a few. Good times, good times!

Back to work

This is my second official day back to work for the school year and I am already exhausted! I have put in more hours than ever figuring out schedules, special ed rosters (which are nowhere near done) and sorting supplies than I ever have.

I can't complain, the weather hasn't been ungodly hot as usual, but having an interior room with no windows or working vents makes for a very sweaty day. If it were any hotter I can't imagine even moving in that room let alone getting anything done.

I need to get motivated to teach this year. I am teaching 4 different subjects with 5 different teachers. I have an entire new department of special ed teachers, which means I do ALL paperwork until they get trained NEXT MONTH. Anyone who has seen one IEP knows what all goes into it, I have 90+ to keep track of.

I think I am going to float through the year being so busy that I don't notice how quickly times goes by because I am not going to know which way is up until winter break. (like the run on sentence?!?)

Oh well, it could be worse. It is always worse for someone else. I just need to put things into perspective, go with the flow and suck it up. I need to spend more time doing yoga and meditating this year than in the past. I can do this. If things go my way it will be my last year in SPED. Then I can enter into a world of different challenges, students and less paperwork. I am really looking forward to less paperwork!