I figured that would get your attention.... I am actually speaking of the dreaded Neti Pot! (seen below)
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have weird issues. One such issue it the fact that I DO NOT PUT THINGS UP MY NOSE!!! Example: I went to a doctor last fall due to allergy issues. I had to see someone else in the group because my doctor was out. His grand solution.... Nasal spray will do the trick. He's the conversation as I recall it:
Doctor "Here, you can use this spray three times a day in each nostril"
"I can't do that, I don't put things up my nose, sorry"
Doctor "Well, I can do that for you"
"No thanks, what else can we try"
Doctor "This is the best option, here, let me do it for you and show you what its like"
By now, I am getting a little pissed... He's not listening, so I go for the extreme.... "If you want me to have a reflex and kick you, go right ahead, because I DO NOT PUT THINGS IN MY NOSE, AND NOONE ELSE DOES EITHER"!!!
"O.K., I am getting that you don't like to use nasal sprays. Why don't I give you a sample and you can try it if you feel like you need to."
"No thank you, save your sample for someone who will use it" and I left with no help, a $15.00 Co-pay and continued allergies issues.
Flash forward to last Friday: I am stuck at an inservice, with a box of Kleenex in front of me, my head filled with so much fluid that no one will sit by me and I feel quarantined with Emily who is in the same situation. One of the brave souls willing to sit by me suggested the Neti Pot. I can't use one, I'm too congested for it to work.... Man, I am miserable
Flash forward to today, 5 days later: My nose is finally open enough to use The Pot. I stop at one of the hundreds of local Walgreens in the area and picked up the Neti Pot and toilet paper. (two essential supplies) and headed home. I read the directions 4 times before I committed to just 'doing it'.
I filled up the Pot, added the medication, shook it up.... I looked at it for several minutes, trying to figure out the correct head angle, how the 'plunger' works, and how to mentally prepare to put something up my nose....
Attempt #1 - Pot up to nose, light squeeze, about 6 drops go it... I back up, freak out, then remember that you are supposed have your mouth open and continue breathing. I need a break.
Attempt #2 - 5 minutes later.... Pot up to nose, a little harder squeeze, water goes it, starts to come out the other side. I back up, freak out, and walk away to pace the apartment and mentally prepare for the final commitment of going 'all the way' the next time.
Attempt #3 - 5 minutes later..... again.... Pot up to nose, I commit to the full squeeze, I am breathing like a woman in hard labor because GOD KNOWS I don't want that nastyness to drip down the back of my throat.... End of squeeze, the directions didn't say what to do now, I release the bottle (early) back up, freak out as the liquid came out both sides and drips down back of throat. GROSS, almost vomited. I need to look up what I am doing wrong.
Attempt #4 - 5 minutes later..... have done the research, now I know what to do... Pot up to nose, full squeeze, breathing like I'm in hard labor, get to the end of squeeze and follow the directions from the Internet..
I made it.... I did it... I am a real adult now... Wait, why is the bottle still half full. Shit, I have to do the other side too. Back to the mental preparations for this side.
Side 2 - I tried to get through with it as quickly as I could taking myself to my mental happy place. I am sitting on the beach in Hawaii, tropical fruity drink in my hand, watching the sun set.
Now, I just need to commit to doing that 2 times a day to help keep my allergies under control. I hope I can do, I guess I will find out tomorrow!