What happened to society?!?

I was channel surfing a few minutes ago and found something very disturbing. I happened to stop on the Jerry Springer show. Now mind you I only left it on for about 2 minutes. The show was titled I slept with my best friends' man. The guy they were arguing over was no looker. Heavily tattooed, severely overweight and just gross. The women were what I expect to be typical ladies they have on the show regularly.

I use the term ladies lightly. They didn't get into a physical fight over the man. Oh no! They had a 'Jerry Springer STRIP OFF'!!!

When did they start doing that on daytime TV?!? I had no idea that you could settle arguments by taking off your clothes in front of a live studio audience! Have I been arguing wrong all these years? To get my point across I need to take off my clothes?!?

I think I will stick to the traditional raising of the voice and walking away to argue. In fact after that spectacle I think the TV needs to get turned off and I need to open up a good book. I need to wash away those images from my brain!

Yuck!

Many bad words...

I am thinking of a word that starts with an F and rhymes with duck. You know how you think financially everything is going o.k., then all of a sudden things take a turn for the worse. This has been my last month.

1. Home PC died. We knew it was coming, so it wasn't such a shock, but then the monitor went with it. Had to get both. Yeah, an extra couple hundred on top of that.

2. $808 for a grad class that started in January, plus the cost of books.

3. Digital camera just died. The screen just stopped working, today. I can take pictures, but I can't see them until I download them. How 1990. I'll have to wait to have the photo developed. I can't afford a camera right now. Maybe it will make me appreciate the simpler things in life.

4. Just found out the course that was supposed to start in June actually started in Feb. Now I am begging to get into the class a month late to pay another $808 for that class plus the cost of books. Not to mention IF I get in the massive amount of homework to make up what I missed.....

I think over spring break next week I am not going to leave the house. I may get struck by lightning, get a flat tire, break a bone, god only knows. Shit, who have I Karmically pissed off lately.

I'm just going to say it.....

fuck!

Middle School Antics.....Gross me out.....

EXPLICIT MATERIAL...... READ AT OWN RISK!

For some reason our students seem to be more 'sexually charged' than they have been in the past. Over the past three weeks these kids are playing grab ass like it is going out of style. Oh yeah..... THEY ARE 13 / 14 YEARS OLD!!!!! One word: GROSS!!!!!

We have had kids writing sexually explicit notes to one another and passing them in class. One such note was an 'instructional manual' on how to give a blow job! I was so glad I didn't get or read that one. We have had kids literally grab each other inappropriately and constantly! I really don't see an end in sight.....

The most recent activity was yesterday. A student thought it would be funny to ummmm..... put a condom on a pen and throw it across the room with a sub! Poor girl..... She handled it well though. She got on the phone and asked administration to come on down and take care of it. Our principal showed up a few seconds later and took 'swarn statements' from the entire class. It has been narrowed down who threw it and it will be taken care of tomorrow.

My question is: What is wrong with kids these days? They have no sense of right and wrong, blame others for their own action and act as if they are 15 years older than they are. I am so frightened that we are going to have a pregnant 7th grader by the end of the year. I can't imagine that one.....

Do we need to start monitoring what these kids are wathcing on T.V.? Do we need to put stricter warnings on explicit video games? Do we need to have community outreach classes that teach some of our parents how to be parents? I don't know, but I think something needs to be done soon! I am so thankful that winter break is coming up next Friday and I will have 15 days middle school free!

I have road rage issues

OK, I must first admit that I hate driving in winter.  The roads in my neighborhood rarely get salted so I have been driving on a sheet of ice now for a week.  But that isn't my problem.....

I used to have a serious anger problem.  I was always mad.  Do you want to know why?  Well, so do I.  It was something I couldn't control but a way I always felt.  I can go into theories at a later date.  The only thing that really gets me angry anymore is driving.  I do get a serious case of road rage.  Here are some scenarios:

Scenario 1:  There is snow on the ground, but NONE on the road.  The person in front of me is driving 12 mph in a 40 mph zone.  Why?  Because at any possible moment it could snow.  I really wish they would have looked in their rear view mirror to see me yelling at them and calling them a "f*ck stick:"  (Oh yeah, I really swear when the rage sets in)

Scenario 2:  I am on my way to work and I have to drive up this incline to get to the stop sign.  I am the 4th car back and had to stop.  When it was time to move forward, my tires simply spun on the solid ice of the incline and I went nowhere.  I actually had to back up 30+ feet in order to get up the icy incline to slide through the stop sign.  To this you would hear the words "Dumb Ass" come out of my mouth.

Scenario 3:  I am on the interstate to work.  Unable to go above 35 in a 65 because they haven't plowed or salted the roads yet.  Some 'dick pickle" swerves in front of me without turning on his signal.  Scared the BeJesus out of me!  And my morning commute was turned from 20 minutes to just over an hour!

Scenario 4:  Some "Dip Shit" in an SUV (yes, I drive one too but not like you) thinks their 4 wheel drive will circumvent the icy pavement so you can go ubber fast and cause a 7 car pileup.  Look at you go!  I understand that the SUV makes you feel invincible, but your not and neither are those cars around you!

I could keep going, but I feel my Hulkian rage coming back.  I just hope my morning commute tomorrow will be filled with safe, responsible drivers......  I bet I swear a few times before I get there.....

Is it Monday again?

OK, I had the weirdest day at work. Let tell ya why.

1. I get to work and discover someone TP'd the trees in front AND egged the school.

2. Work smelled like rotten eggs all day, especially when it heated up this afternoon.

3. Multiple, I repeat MULTIPLE, fights. At least two teachers were injured in the process of breaking them up.

4. I had a student try to tell me how to do MY JOB!

5. I had the same student tell me to "Shut the f*ck up and stop talking" to her.

6. I got called a devil by a student when I walked in the building (he didn't have his meds today)

7. Ohhh, we did have cheese pizza for lunch. Screw frozen dinners today, I had pizza and it was good.

8. Our lunch group is the quietest in the building and gets compliments all the time for their behavior.

9. I had to cover and teach a class for one of the injured teachers, and didn't get a break at all. (except the 2 bathroom breaks between classes)

10. Witnessed a student getting kicked out of class for yawning (it was pretty obnoxious though)

So, did I miss something today? Was there a full moon? Is it groundhogs day and I am doomed to have a repeat?

All I know is, I am going to keep on going. Tomorrow can't be that bad. I just need to get through tonight and finish making tombstones. 100+ to go. (it is actually for a pretty cool thing we are doing in language arts. We are laying to rest overused words. I get to make the graveyard. I think it will be cool.)

I think I need a mental health day!

But, I will never take it. I suck. I'm responsible. Go me and my stupid work ethic.

Funny things that come out of my mouth...

By things, I mean words and phrases.  I don't really do it on purpose, it comes from opening my mouth before thinking.  Or the occasional misreading.

For example last night I said this to my husband (imagine a high pitched whinny voice:  "Stoooopppp, your getting me wet with your cheese condensation."  

I bet you are thinking, what the h*ll is she talking about.  Let me explain.  We live in the Midwest, or as I like to call it 'The Land of Humidity' in the summer.  Last night was particularly humid.  I wanted a cheese stick to snack on.  I took two out of the old fridgeroo, one for each of us,  and by the time made it to the couch the wrapper was already beading with water.  He unwrapped his and shook it in my face while the condensation hit me, hence the phrase that came out of my mouth.

Bet you've never heard cheese condensation before.  Me neither.  

Other classics I have orally spewed:

That was wicked painful! When I hurt myself.

Idiot rod for the Iditorod race they do in Alaska each year.

For the life of me I can't pronounce Liberace's name.

Constanippley for Constantinople

Things I have said while driving with my windows open that have been overheard:

"It's called a leash, why don't you f*cking use one!" To someone who lives down the street who lets her dog run free.  She will even run into the street as you are driving past to stop you from hitting her dog.  A toy poodle.  Not very smart for a lawyer.

"Learn to f*cking drive!" Earlier today as I drove through the subdivision.  We have city wide garage sales today and people come from all over to scope out your crap.  I got an Amen from a guy standing within earshot of my rage.

Actually, I use the above phrase quite a bit while driving.  Usually, I don't get a response, but I'll take it.

Things that drive me nuts when they come out of someone else's mouth:

It drives me nuts when people repeatedly mispronounce words.  At least with adults.  

I work with someone who uses the word Frustrated a lot.  However, she does not pronounce the first 'r' and repeatedly says Fustrated.  One time after she used the phrase I responded with Yes, that is FRUSTRATING, isn't it"  She didn't get it.

What drives you nuts or what have you orally spewed that was hilarious or inappropriate?